Temperaments - Part 2

The four temperaments were originally proposed by Hippocrates (the "father of medical science") 350 years before the birth of Christ, to explain differences in personalities, based on the predominant bodily fluid—hence the rather unappealing names: choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic, and melancholic. Even today these same terms are used to describe temperament, by which we mean an individual's tendency to react in a certain way throughout their life, forming an identifiable pattern.

For example...
The choleric tends to react quickly and intensely, and to take action immediately and decisively- believing that he is always right.
The sanguine is your classic "people person," known for their warmth, enthusiasm, and cheerful optimism.
The melancholy is deeply thoughtful and analytic, slow to respond, skeptical, sensitive, somewhat idealistic and usually creative.
The phlegmatic is usually a "peace-maker"—slow to react, calm, cooperative, and reserved.

In the late 70’s (why do I feel the need to date myself like that) I read Tim Lahaye’s book "Spirit Controlled Temperament" and it clarified for me why I was so intense and so different from my husband. As a melancholy, details meant everything to me and since it meant so little to Ed, who is phlegmatic, I assumed that I was right and he was wrong. Of course, my goal was to change him. We both began to look at temperaments and discovered that we are pretty much opposites and that we could be very different and both be right. This was more important for me to learn than him. It was huge for us to finally understand HOW we were different – what made us react to life the way we did and then how we could work together to blend these two very different temperaments into a successful marriage. This may sound trivial to some, but for us it freed us both to be ourselves and allowed us to enjoy the process of understanding each other and appreciate who God made us to be.

One of the dangers of studying temperaments is allowing ourselves to make excuses for who we are - the “God made me this way so get used to it” mentality. For instance, I’m a melancholy – I need a plan – I need order- so of course I’m right and everyone else needs to follow suit mentality. The main purpose of identifying your temperament is to help clarify your strengths and your weaknesses- thank God for making you just the way you are and then allow Him to use your strengths in serving Him and obviously, through the Holy Spirit in our lives to minimize the weaknesses. It cannot be an excuse to justify our sin!

If learning about your temperament has helped you "get" yourself - has contributed to improving your relationship with your husband or has allowed you to see your chid's God-given bent, would you share that with us?

I'll be back soon with more on each specific temperament type.