Temperaments: Part 4 None of us are Perfect (though some of us think we are close)

In the last discussion of temperaments I shared all the wonderful attributes of my very own Phlegmatic. He is wonderful! But, we all have to be aware of the weaknesses of our temperaments so we can strive to improve and be more of what God designed us to be.

Phlegmatics tend to be indecisive procrastinators with no real need to set goals. Some phlegmatics could even be accused of being lazy. As a husband, a Phlegmatic could easily surrender his role as the spiritual leader to his Choleric wife. This is not what God had in mind when He created us. All temperaments, regardless of their strengths or weaknesses are called to be holy, seeking righteousness and following the scriptural guidelines set for us as husbands and wives. God doesn’t exempt us from those directives just because we are not natural leaders or because, as a wife we are strong-willed and opinionated. Thus, the challenge – to surrender who we are in our flesh and allow the Holy Spirit to use our strengths and minimize our weaknesses.

I am a full-on Melancholy with a bent for perfection that could drive all of those around me crazy. I am so blessed to have a husband who so gently knows how to handle my craziness when I have over-extended myself or my outrage when things are not done right. In Florence Littauer’s book she summarizes Melancholies like this…

The depth to see into the heart and soul of life.
The artistic nature to appreciate the beauty of the world.
The talent to create a masterpiece where nothing existed before.
The ability to analyze and arrive at the proper solution.
The eye for detail while others do shoddy work.
The aim to finish what they start.
The pledge, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.”
The desire to “do all things decently and in order.”

Because Melancholies are so analytical, we have a tendency to be pessimistic – not because we just want to be negative, but because we think consequentially – we can look ahead and see the problems before they ever happen. This can feel like a curse. Sometimes I just want to not think about things so I will not be critical.

We like schedules, lists, order and bargains. We expect our friends to be loyal and we don’t understand when others don’t have the same high standards that we have. The very things that make Melancholies so valuable are the same things that make them almost intolerable. Our strengths can kill us.

We often have the gift of mercy. We see things in people – their fears, their needs, their pain and we are moved to tears for them. We are often very sentimental and have difficulty throwing things away because of the meaning and the memories.

We make good leaders, organizers and counselors. We will often give up our own plans to help someone else. We are creative and appreciate beauty. You would want to have a Melancholy around if you are planning an event. For Melancholies the joy is in the planning and the execution of the plan.

Next time, we will look at the weaknesses of the melancholy and how our strengths and weaknesses affect our relationships.