Temperaments, Part 5: Cheer Up the Melancholy

Sorry for the delay in getting back to Temperaments. - Maybe because it’s time to talk about the weaknesses of the Melancholy (that would be me).

• Melancholies have a hard time relaxing and having fun. They are often the ones in a large group that will leave the room when it’s time for a game or an icebreaker. But, if you put a few melancholies together in a group they will eventually revel in the fact that they have found someone who really understands them. They tend to feel that they are “one of a kind” creating a sense of isolation.

• Melancholies are prone to depression. They take life too seriously and they must realize that no one likes to be around gloomy people.

• Melancholies often take things too seriously. Because they are careful with their words, they assume that everyone else is also. So when the choleric speaks his mind or the sanguine blurts out their feelings, the melancholy reads much into these comments and finds a deep, hidden meaning. Developing an understanding of the other temperaments will help a melancholy. They will realize that the sanguine and the choleric are not out to get them.

• Melancholies don’t easily forget. I can recall trivial incidents in my childhood years that were traumatizing to me – elementary teachers who looked at me angrily – friends who appeared to be whispering about me- hasty words that cut straight to my heart. This can take it’s toll on a marriage.

• Melancholies often struggle with low self-esteem. Because of their need for perfection any criticism given to them leaves them reeling and insecure. We allow others to contribute to the opinions we have of ourselves.

• Melancholies can be their own worst enemy. Again, their need for perfection will keep them from taking on tasks or projects because they fear that they won’t do it perfectly.

• Melancholies have unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. This will result in a critical spirit that can destroy relationships.

• Melancholies need to relax and realize that not everything in life is perfect.

I suppose I went overboard on the weaknesses of the Melancholy because I am one. I have struggled with all of these things, but Praise God, because of the work that He has done in my life I am learning to rest in Him.

Remember, our goal as a child of God, is not simply to understand our strengths and weaknesses, it is to allow the Holy Spirit to TRANSFORM our temperaments – making us more like Christ every day.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world [the flesh], but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.