Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Curse of Perfectionism

Hard-headed, strong-willed, opinionated, pure melancholy, PERFECTIONIST
These are words that have been used to describe me during my lifetime.

I have lived life battling my perfectionism – struggling with expectations vs. reality. It felt like a curse.

Being a perfectionist can result in…
Disrespecting my husband - "why can't you be what I need you to be"
Impatience with others - "do it my way now"
Critical spirit - "no one knows how to do it right"
Missing the moment - so worried about things that we don't stop for the moment
Misplaced priorities- so worried about things that we don't put God and people at the top of the list
Caring more about what others think
Focusing more on what I am DOING for God rather than working on my relationship with God
Stress, stress, stress - Did you know that perfectionist have one of the highest rates for auto-immune diseases - IT AFFECTS THE BODY
Discontentment - life can never be what we want it to be; people can never be what we expect them to be.

If you struggle with "the curse", please know that God gifted you with your personality. It is what we allow Him to do with it that makes the difference. Perfectionism is all about ME - not necessarily about GOD. Learning to allow Him to take the ME part and direct it back to HIM is the answer. This is an ongoing process for me. It will always be the struggle between self and God. I have not arrived, but I am now experiencing what life can be like when I'm not trying to "do it all" - "be it all" - "fix it all".

If you are one of "these", I encourage you - give it up to God - the peace that you experience when you realize that you don't have to make EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE perfect is amazing. The relief that it doesn't have to be your job or that it is simply not that important is exhilarating.

Proverbs 3:5-12 (The Message)
5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
He's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
don't sulk under his loving correction.
It's the child he loves that God corrects;
a father's delight is behind all this.

Join me in recovery and tell me your story.

4 comments:

Feldman Family said...

i just happened upon your blog...but as i read it all seemed a little too applicable. Wow..i never thought about 'perfectionism' being a root of sin, but your examples were like reading about myself. "disrepecting your husband"...ouch but true! thanks for letting the Lord use your humility and openness to show me some things about myself this morning! Sanctification is good....sometimes painful...but always good!!
Thanks for being a loving rebuke!
Shannan

Anonymous said...

Thank you! Brian keeps rolling his eyes at me because I am an overthinker. We are just working on a picture book for Ethiopia and I am making it too difficult. Thankfully I am married to someone who is not an overthinker AND I can read your words of wisdom and let it go.

Jennifer Bacak said...

That's good Mom!
I really like that passage from the Message.
Love you!
jenn

Anonymous said...

thanks for this sweet lesson/ encouragement!
and i loved seeing the smilebox slideshow from the 4th of july...
my mom just discovered smilebox, gotta love techie grandma's!
~j~